A Liar’s Guide to An Honest Life: Step 1

Tell the truth… at least to yourself.

When we’re on fire they tell us to stop, drop, and roll.  I always remember those instructions when it seems like life is going up in flames right-before-my-eyes. What do we do first when everything’s falling apart? We either deny it or freak out. Neither of which cause progress in our lives. What should you do first?  Stop, just be real with your self and assess the situation.

Caution, know this will hurt. Just treat it like a band-aid. Rip that sucker off. The truth in a troubled life reminds me of a forest fire, recklessly causing an unwanted clearing. However once it’s over and the flames are out, new life begins to spring up everywhere. Sometimes we wouldn’t know the truth if it had a voice and yelled at us. It has no choice but to be reckless with us.

What do we do next? How do we accept the truth that maybe that dead beat is a dead beat? That regardless of what happened to him in his childhood it is not our job to fix him or support him. It is his job to get a job. Just because his mother didn’t love him enough doesn’t mean he can use your face as a punching bag either. Oh, and that cheating boyfriend, you know the one. He said he loved you; he was sorry; it was a mistake, but then he loved your friend too. The chance that I (a total stranger)  will tell you the truth is greater than the chance he will if he gets caught again. So if you’re not married to him drop him. 

We believe the lies because accepting the truth means what we had hoped for might never happen. That the dreams we had with that person might never actually come true. That house we saw our kids growing up in, or the engagement ring we didn’t get (he was never going to buy anyway), and the life we knew we could have if the truth would just go away. Just when we think everything is going fine. We have reconciled then out of nowhere here comes the truth knocking on our doors. Then what do we do? Well sticking with the theme I say you roll. We keep it moving, moving on to better things.

In your next relationship: Look for a man who respects you. He should open doors for you. He should pray for you. He should value you above his self. You do matter, you are beautiful, and God desires for you to be treasured. Dr. Seuss wrote “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”. I would add to that by saying that because you are you, you deserve what is true.You can handle the changes you will have to make if you embrace the truth.© 2015

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