If you all don’t mind I would like to share a very special accomplishment with you. For those of you that didn’t know, I graduated yesterday with my bachelor’s degree in Psychology – Behavioral Health Concentration. The reason why I want to share this accomplishment is because I feel obligated to “shout out” my testimony because I owe it all to God! This testimony is not going to be about graduating but more on how I got to the other side of the tunnel.
Couple weeks ago, I had two people tell me, “Congratulations…it only took you 5 years to get a bachelor’s degree and then laughed at me”. Mind you, one has a high school diploma and the other has a GED…it didn’t bother me any. But that’s not what matters, it’s the fact that these two people are people I held close to my heart and they are also the two people who play a big role to the reasons why it took me 5 years to get my degree. You must remember…your strongest enemies know your weakest spot. So yes, truth be told, I was in tears. Not because they insulted my intelligence but because they insulted my spiritual strength. If they only knew what it took for this single mother of two, who worked full-time, went to school full-time, my boy’s school and sports events full-time, take care of family members full time, just to keep both feet flat on the ground.
You know I don’t have to explain why it took me 5 years to get a bachelor’s degree but I am going to anyway because I owe all glory to God!! This is the time I should “show off” so to speak about my success. If the flesh can “show off” tangible things like the clothes we wear or cars we drive, then it’s only right to “show off” the spiritual aspects of life.
So, it took me a rushed marriage at 20, a divorce at 27 (My divorce occurred because my son Kegan was physically abused by his father when came back from Afghanistan when he was only 4. Which is another reason I chose Psychology because I needed to learn how to help my son), a depression, having to raise two kids by myself, had a surgery, and encountered a few illnesses…just to get my degree. Now I can promise you there was nothing funny about anything I had to go through to get where I am today. I shed many tears, encountered many struggles, delta with depressions, but I didn’t once stop the world to whine about it. I was never angry with God, nor blame him for my constant struggle. Now, what I did do was held on to the very little faith I had then just to make it through. Because I always knew God aunt sleeping and things will work itself out. I just kept telling myself that this is just what happens when you make wrong choices in life, you end up having to take the back roads to get to that smooth road.
I want to share three things I went through that gave me a solid building block to a stronger faith. Growing up the Bible was never introduced to me so I was plainly ignorant to the spiritual world. I come from a Catholic family which made it even more confusing for me. Now, my grandmother and mother did instill something in me. They are, “Never question God, it’s a sin to want, and carry your cross”.
I went through something I called “whippings from the Lord”. I went through three whippings from the Lord to finally realize that “I” didn’t control my destiny. I was supposed to have three surgeries. The first surgery was for my head I have struggled with vertigo and migraines for 4 years, the second was for my heart murmur, I was told I had a hole in my heart, and the third was for my right shoulder blades and rotator cuffs where I had injured in my ARMY ROTC times. I had declined all those three surgeries because I finally just made a complete halt and stepped back and reevaluated my life. I gave myself three analytical reasonings. I told myself that the Lord has given me three whippings. The first whipping was in my head; with vertigo and migraines telling me that I needed to quit stressing on everything and just give it all to Him, second, He whipped me in the heart with a hole and in it telling me that only he can make me whole again but I needed to be right with Him in my heart, and the third whipping was on my right shoulder and arm, to let me know that although it was a good thing I carried my cross on my shoulder, I still needed to let him handle all the burdens that weigh my cross down. That way I can kneel down and look up instead of always having to look down.
The moral of my testimony is that although trials and tribulations are real…Jesus is so real. We must all know that Jesus is real and that we should pay forth with a commitment to keep Him close to our hearts no matter what comes our way.
You know for a long time I had this light in my heart just bouncing around, it’s as if it was locked in there. Little did I know that this church called Hill Top had the key to unlocking it and that light is Jesus. I just want to thank this church for I am grateful I have met you all and I thank you all for welcoming my two boys and I and giving us a church home.
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