Beauty

Beauty is found in a number of things. It has been sought after for centuries. I could pay thousands to obtain a certain look that in my mind is what I find to be beautiful or I could just change my make up. Taking it a step further, I need to make sure it would be what I thought was beautiful. Whatever I do in regards to my looks I always ask myself did I do this for me or because I thought everyone else would like it. Beautiful to me is feeling relevant in my own skin. It is knowing that I am one of a kind. Don’t hide your flaws simply embrace them. How did I get my conclusion of what I call beauty? It took a whole lot of horrible teenage years. I just became self aware instead of self critical. I still think how do I know when I have achieved the best me? Is my beauty relevant to the world based on the approval of others or is it a comparison of how I measure up? Yet there is always someone better, thinner, more talented than me. Then one day I asked myself , “says who?” and I wondered what God thought about beauty. What does the bible say about it? That day I remember feeling like a hamster on a wheel.  What would happen if the maintenance stopped, the workouts ceased, and the make-up disappeared. People might be scared or perhaps no one would recognize me. I actually had this idea in my head that I couldn’t go to Walmart without make-up or people would think I was on drugs or depressed. A bit extreme, but this is the society we live in that emphasizes the importance of how we look. I know that I am not the only one who has felt the constant nip at the back of my heals telling me I don’t quite measure up.

There are few milestones and moments that helped me get to where I am now with my self-image. The first one is when I realized that as a child I wasn’t born being self-conscience, but that feeling was adaptive. I can remember as a little girl carrying around my Walkman with a Reba McEntire cassette tape in it singing “Give me one chance fancy don’t let me down” like I couldn’t care less who liked the song or my voice. When I turned twenty two that girl was hardly even a memory.


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I think it was Kindergarten when some boy brought my clothing to my attention. I was living with my great grandparents at the time and they were frugal with money. I never thought we were poor. I mean I had toys and plenty of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I didn’t care about my clothes. When I would get a hole in something if it still fit my Granny Ethel would just mend it. I remember her smiling when she was sewing. That boy told me I looked dirty and poor. Then at that moment I noticed what all the other girls were wearing. They had on dresses and bows in their hair or cute little matching outfits. Highly offended I went to the car stomping that day. “You could be the prettiest peach in the basket honey and some folks just don’t like peaches. What matters most is whether you are ripe or rotten”, said Granny. All these years later I understand. Each person is an individual, unique in his or her own way. It doesn’t matter how fantastic you look or how much you spend on your clothes, there will be someone out there who isn’t a fan. Be content in your own wardrobe and especially in your own skin. At this point in my life, eighty percent of what I wear was given to me. I once sought after name brands and the approval of others; all it got me was in a credit card mess by the age of twenty two. Praise God I am free from that, but I can remember vividly how hard it was to climb out of that hole. I have to remind myself often that what matters is how God sees me. Am I ripe or am I rotten? When I talk to people, am I engaged enough that they see my glow instead of what I am wearing? Am I modest and careful not to objectify myself?

Let’s talk about make-up. I love it. I always have just simply enjoyed painting my face. The biggest difference is now I put it on for fun because I like it. Years ago, however, I wore it to cover up the me I thought no one wanted to see… (to be continued)

Coming soon just as requested rolling out on 8-1-15  Beauty/Testimonials/Lifestyle YouTube channel so get ready to thumbs up and subscribe. Thank you all who asked.

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